So July started off with the 4th of July - we went to Wyoming this year to buy fireworks. Well, I kind of had a hunch that we'd be wasting our money, however I kept telling Donavon year after year "maybe next year". A few days before we went up there a fire was started close to our house. Over the next few days it came within a 1/2 mile of our house and thousands of people we evacuated. Fortunately for us we never had to leave, but our bags where packed and our eyes remained on the hillside. Following that our city banned fireworks in just a few neighborhoods. Lucky us, no fireworks in our neighborhood. We had really been looking forward to spending the day with neighbors and having a blast! Instead we went to plan B and headed up to Donavon's parents house to light off our fireworks. We got up there and bought some fried chicken for dinner. After a snooze fest of watching soccer on TV we finally started the show. Donavon's Mom was even tough enough to come outside for a little bit. She sat out there and watched for about 15 minutes before it became too much for her and she went back inside. I wanted to take a picture of her and the kids, but I knew she didn't feel well, and I'm sure thought she didn't look well enough for a picture so I didn't. I am kicking myself now.
The weekend following the 4th of July we had plans to get the house and yard whipped into shape. However we got a horrible phone call that my mother inlaw Brenda had fallen and his Dad had called 911 for help. I stayed with the kids and Donavon flew out of here as fast as he could to get to the hospital. She broke her shoulder in 3 places and her health started declining rapidly.
A few days later I became very sick. I'm not sure what it was but my guts where churning like crazy. I could hardly move without feeling immensely ill. Not sure if it was something I picked up in the hospital or food poisoning? My kids were champs that day, and guess what? Donavon had to work late. Awesome. After 2 days I felt much better and thought things were on the up and up and then I woke up in the middle of the night sick again. This whole week I was struggling to finish up the last little bits of our family reunion that was happening in 2 weeks and get my house prepared for my family's arrival that next week. I was starting to sink.
I tried my hardest to stay on top of things and get my house ready but I never did get everything done. At this point it seemed liked we had spent the last month visiting Brenda in the hospital almost every night for a month now.
My sister and her 4 kids showed up on the 17th, just a few days before our big reunion. On that Wednesday we went to the Lindon City Pool and had a blast. Its hands down the best pool around, cant beat $5!
We stopped off at the hospital on the way home to see Brenda real quick because we knew the next few days would be pretty busy and we might not get a chance to see her for a few days. Unfortunately she was in reverse isolation at this point and you had to suit up to go in to see her. I waited in the hall with the kids, then by the time it was all clear and no nurses around to sneak Issac in to see her, he wasn't interested. This was the last day that she was "with it" and could talk. The next day she suffered a stroke and basically went into a coma until her death. I'll never forget standing there in the crack of the door holding up the kids so they could waive to her and blow her a kiss. She was on the phone with someone she had worked with. I wish so bad she hadn't been on the phone. That was the last time I saw her be herself.
The rest of my family arrived on Thursday, my nephew Austin wasn't feeling well so we kind of just putted around the house all day until everyone else arrived. Once they were all there we just relaxed and visited while all the kids played.
Friday the 20th was the first day of the big Henderson Family Reunion! My cousins Rachel and Monica, along with myself had been planning this reunion for my Grandma Elyse for almost a year! It was finally here!
We kicked off the reunion at a park in North Salt Lake, we rented out the Bowery that was next to the splash pad. It was great to see some of my cousins I hadn't seen in ages! Later that night we all dropped off our kids with sitters and had a nice adults only dinner at my Aunt Gloria's new house. It was the most gorgeous house I had ever seen! Donavon said her living room reminded him of the Celestial Room in the Salt Lake Temple. Again, it was great to catch up and visit, uninterrupted this time!
We headed out to get home to our kids but before we could get out the door we got a phone call. Brenda was declining rapidly, we needed to get there immediately. I ran back to tell my Mom and ask her if her and my Dad could go home to be with our kids while we went to the hospital. As I went back towards the front door my cousin Chris was playing my aunts baby grand piano. He was playing "Nearer my God to thee". I had a very overwhelming feeling hit me like a freight train, the feeling was this is it, its her time.
We rushed to her side and snuck in the back door of the hospital - Donavon's brother Bryan was staying the night with her tonight. It was absolutely awful to watch her suffer. She would gasp for air, then 30-45 seconds later take another gasp. Followed by a few yelps or moans. We gave her our love and went home.
On Saturday there was family history tour planned for the reunion and a big fancy dinner. I told Donavon we could stay behind and be with his Mom. He said he couldn't watch her like that, it was too hard and he didn't want to sit at home and wait for the phone call that she had passed. So we went.
We met up on the Bear River City Park and took family pictures. Now that was pretty funny! We all sat on the bleachers and my sister, our official photographer took our pictures by remote! After pictures were done everyone assembled their snack packs and we headed off down the street to the house my Grandma Elyse grew up in and the Cemetery across the street. At each of our stops that day there was a tid bit that someone had put together to share the history and significance of that site.
The lady that lives in my Grandma's old house was kind enough to let us come in and see what it looked like. It was great to see the house! I cant believe she let us all wonder through her house!
Some of the other stops that day were Culter Dam, a old Church that sat behind my Grandpa Carl's old home, which is now over grown and I never even caught a glimpse of it it was that over grown. As well as the Logan Cemetery.
Our last stop was at Maddoxx in Brigham City for an early dinner. My Grandma Elyse treated us all to a great meal! It was delicious! Our family has always enjoyed going to Maddoxx to eat but none of us get there very often!
On our way out of there we got another phone call.
Donavon's Dad had just given his Mom a blessing and in so many words released her from this mortal existence. Time was near, we had to go. Unfortunately this time we were quite aways away.
We went as fast as we could. We got home and dropped our kids off with the neighbor until the rest of my family made in back from the reunion.
This time she was more at peace. Her breathing wasn't so horrific and she seemed more comfortable. We spent some time with her that night, holding her hand, giving her kisses, playing with her hair and whispering into her ear. We went home late.
On Sunday morning first thing Donavon went back to the hospital and I followed after the kids woke up and had their breakfast.
I was taking the kids to say their final good bye to their Grandma. At the time I thought it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. In my post about her to come I'm sure you'll understand why.
Issac sat in Donavon's lap and held Grandma's hand. Gave her some kisses and told her he loved her. She looked like she was sleeping. While he was sitting with Donavon, Donavon mentioned he was burning up. Sure enough, he was. He had caught what his cousin Austin had earlier in the week. He wanted to go home.
I took him home and got him in bed. He refused to take any medicine and had a fever of 104. I wanted to go back to the hospital and leave the kids with my parents for the day but on my way home I could hear Brenda's voice telling me "no stay with my babies". She was right, its exactly what she would have wanted, for me to stay with her babies and take care of them. So I stayed home and took care of my babies. Donavon didn't come home until about 12:30 that night. We stayed up until about 2. At 2:45 Issac woke up crying, wanted some cartoons and medicine. I went back to bed but apparently he didn't because about 15 minutes later he came and crawled in bed with us. He kept waking up all night and then about 5:45 he woke up and threw a fit for chocolate milk and cartoons.
On Monday the 23rd Donavon went to work. His vacation time was up and it was back to the grind. I told him not to go, they would understand. He said he was going and there was nothing anyone could do to stop him.
After tying up a few things he went back to the hospital to see his Mom.
Meanwhile I was at home with my parents and my sister and her kids. My Mom and Sister wanted to go to Tai Pan Trading, a home decor store. My Dad didn't want to suffer that one again, he offered to take all the boys to Kennecott Copper Mine. The boys had a blast with Papa Jack!
While in Tai Pan, towards the end I got a call from Donavon. Yup, at this point I was dreading hearing my phone ring, because I thought it was going to be the call. Not yet, Donavon needed me to run over to his parents house and grab a Social Security check that had just come in the mail and hurry and deposit it before his mom died. No pressure, but she might not make it another hour. We raced over there, I opened up the envelope and no check. I called Donavon to tell him that there was no check and he just said
"its ok, it doesn't matter..... she's gone now."
She's gone. There I am standing in her kitchen feeling pretty overwhelmed. I told my sister inlaw Jennie who had been waiting at the house. Walked into my inlaws bedroom and dropped the Social Security letter on their bed. Took a look at her side of the bed and just wanted to lay down and cry like a baby. But I couldn't. My family was waiting in the car in the driveway for me. I just slowly walked out there and my Mom asked if I got the check and I told her "its too late... doesn't matter anymore, she's gone".
I'm not going to lie, the rest of the day was kind of a blur until the evening. My parents and my sister packed up and left to get out of our way and give us some time alone. I remember we had yet another frozen pizza for dinner and planned on telling Issac after dinner. He threw a fit and wanted to play with friends so we let him. Anything to put off the gut wrenching news we had to tell him. Finally it was time to go inside. We put Katie down to bed and sat Issac on the couch with us. I showed him a picture of the resurrection and we talked about it. Then we told him that Grandma Strain died today - we wont get to see her for a very long time, but we will see her again one day when we die, {at hopefully a very old age}, but Grandma Strain is now up in Heaven with our Heavenly Father. He was looking at the angels in the picture and asked if she was an angel now. Then the chat derailed and he started asking if she took an ambulance to heaven, and other weird stuff, like her germs {he's been asking about germs a lot since I had been sick 2 weeks ago and I wouldn't let him share my drinks because of germs}, then he was asking about her broken bones, if they were all better. It didn't seem like he really got it.
Later that night he woke up twice sobbing uncontrollably. Each time he wouldn't say what he was sad about, he just snuggled up to you and went back to sleep. Donavon and I were talking and I was wondering if maybe she appeared to him in a dream to tell him? I cant remember who, but I remember telling someone this and they said the very same thing happened to their kid that night. I think it was one of Donavon's brother Roberts kids?
On Tuesday the 24th we met up to say goodbye to my family before they drove back to Seattle. We visited at my Aunt Julie's house for a bit then went out to lunch. After that we headed over to my inlaws house to be with family. It just so happened to my Donavon's sister Jennie's birthday. Poor girl. When we got there we made a quick grocery list of what else we needed for dinner - and I reminded the boys before they left "please get your sister a birthday cake". "Oh crap!" was pretty much the response I got. Most had remembered, then forgotten again.
The rest of the day was spent just relaxing as a family. In Utah its a big Holiday called Pioneer Day - Donavon's Dad and Grandpa asked that everyone take the day and do something fun with their families then on Wednesday the funeral prep would begin.
I was making homemade ice cream in the kitchen and Donavon, his Dad Mike and brother David and a good family friend were playing Hearts together. I felt like I was on an all guys camping trip. I thought to myself... oh boy... this family dynamic is going to change quite a bit! Donavon only has 1 sister, so its always been more testosterone, however their Mom leveled the playing field and kept everyone in line.
We did a little BBQ, some funeral planning, lit off the rest of our fireworks and had birthday cake and homemade ice cream. I've got to say, even though it was somber and we were all in mourning, it was nice to all be with each other.
Wednesday Donavon and his siblings met his Dad for breakfast then started off at the mortuary. I figured out flowers online from home and sent them the addresses to pick out specifically what flowers. How is this for inspiration? The last place I found I felt the most impressed with so I gave them the info first. Turns out this is the place that Brenda went to less than a year ago to get flowers for her Mother's funeral. My father inlaw Mike had been wishing he knew the name or where it was because she loved it so much.
Thursday was my father inlaws birthday. I know right? Mom dies on Monday, baby girls birthday on Tuesday, and husbands birthday Thursday? Oh and don't forget, it was our 5 year anniversary the day of the viewing!
On Thursday afternoon we met up with my father inlaw after he had been out to the movies and lunch with others and gave him a new tackle box for fishing, with a promise to do lots of fishing. Then we took him to dinner, to Wingers. Mom always HATED Wingers. We could NEVER go there unless she wasn't planning on eating. I can only remember going there twice with her. Its my father inlaws favorite place though!
Earlier I had asked him what he wanted for a treat, a cake, ice cream what? He said he wanted a Dunford chocolate donut - but I had to eat one with him. Ok, ok ok.... just for you. So when we got back from dinner, as bloated as I was, I ate it. He wouldn't eat his until I started eating mine.
On Friday the 27th we woke up super early and went and helped my Grandma move into my Aunt Julie's place. Oh I forgot to mention that huh? My Grandma sold her house in Sequim, WA and just prior to the reunion the moving truck came and loaded her up - perfect timing! So her moving truck was finally in town. We spent a good chunk of the day helping her - or well I guess more so making sure the men she hired did their job right. We had lunch with them then headed home.
This is about the time my gut sank and I started having major anxiety. For those that know me well, you will know that I'm beyond terrified of dead bodies. I just don't do dead people, doesn't matter who it is. My first funeral was my Grandpa Carl - I had major anxiety that day and I remember my Dad making me go into the viewing room. Freaked me out. The only other funerals I have been too since I skipped the viewings. No thanks.
I wasn't getting out of this one. It was a 2 hour viewing, but we had to be there about an hour and half earlier. Yikes. I cant even begin to tell you how sick I felt. I was dreading not getting some anti anxiety meds from my Dr earlier.
So we show up and there is a wedding going on. Yes, a wedding. We were walking around trying to find the room with the casket and found a wedding. Hmm ok. So we finally find everyone and they are in the room across the hall from the wedding. As soon as the wedding was over, I kid you not, like 30 seconds after they had left the room, they were shoving my mother inlaw across the hall. It was just weird.
I stood outside the room chatting with their Bishops wife about how great of a lady she was and my anxiety of dead people. I finally decided I'd step inside the room and "help" my sister inlaw and Brenda's sisters set up. After a few minutes my anxiety was totally washed away - completely gone, I felt just fine. I walked up to the casket and she looked beautiful. No horror story here. I couldn't get over how great she looked. The funeral director later said it probably helped she had a fresh Mexico tan ;)
A few more minutes went by and a few more glances at her and Donavon came into the room, he'd been crying. I asked him where he went and he said his Dad gave him a blessing. He said his Dad just asked that they could be strong men today and that everyone would be calm and collected. Hit me like a mac truck. That's why I magically felt ok. I was fine for the rest of the weekend. I never cried at the viewing and by Saturday I could have snuggled up to her in the casket - ok maybe not, you still couldnt' have paid me to touch her but I was ok with standing next to her and looking at her. That is big for me.
I am going to stop here - next up is the funeral. I think I'll write about that when I write my little tribute to her.
So are you starting to see why July was just awful? I only wrote of the 'big' things too. There is just soooo much that went on in July. I havent even hit the tip of the ice berg yet! Nor have I uploaded pictures! So my friends, there will be many more lengthy July posts - but dont count on seeing them in July! Might take me awhile to catch up!
Now if you'll excuse me, I really should have been cleaning the house in the last 2 hours this took me. I am trying to pick up all the piece that got left behind and get our lives back on track. Easier said than done!
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